Ah, the holidays! A time for cozy gatherings and festive cheer — until the relatives start playing the “20 Questions about your life” game. You know the drill:
- “How’s your dating life?”
- “Oh my daughter just started working for an I-Bank, what is your brother doing? (I swear this is 100% real)
- “When are you having kids?”
- “What does your business do, anyway?”
- Is it less stressful now that your company close down?😂
Honestly, if I wanted to feel uncomfortable, I’d just wear a sweater two sizes too small! Don’t get me wrong, Thanksgiving is still one of my favorite day of the year. But there are relatives that I just don’t see except for this one occasion of the year. Let’s just enjoy the eggnog and leave the probing to the professionals, shall we?
- First, Be thankful!
Shift your mindset to focus on the positive aspects of the holiday. Reflect on what you’re grateful for, whether it’s your friendships, career, or personal growth. This can help you maintain a positive attitude and enjoy the day, regardless of the questions you face.
- Understand where your relatives are coming from
I genuinely believe that most relatives’ intent is not malicious. After all, your relatives might have a 50 years age gap with you and they are not updated with the latest practices of our generation. A little patience and empathy can do wonders in this holiday season!
- Trying to explain your career to your relatives? Don’t take it too seriously (They will NEVER GET IT ANYWAYS)
Me: I’m in growth, not marketing. Yes GROWTH!
Them: What? You are sales?
Me: No growth…like looking at the full funnel.. And the questions kept looping on my end of the table.. hahaa… in the end I decided to just said yes to whatever my relatives asked.
One great tip to tackle situations like the above is to prepare your responses. Anticipate the questions you might face have a few light-hearted responses ready. I usually just ended up saying I have the company sell more to the users, haha! Or use something like the “classic redirect”. When someone asks about your job, you can say, “I’m a professional cat herder. It’s a lot like my last job, but with more fur and fewer deadlines!” This light-hearted response can shift the focus and give everyone a chuckle.
- The dreaded question about your relationship status.
Here are some good response!
- Option 1: Use Pop Culture References You could say: “I’m just following the advice of my favorite rom-com: ‘When you stop looking for love, it finds you!’”
- Option 2: Switching the focus, I’m waiting for you to set me up with my prince! haha
- Option 3: (a slightly more serious tone): Quote the growing single trend that is literally happening in every developed country (I TRIED THIS! haha) “You know that divorce rate just hit 49% in the States!” So I’d rather be happy myself than ending up in a divorce🤭 giving away half of my asset.
This adds a touch of self-love and humor, making it clear you’re enjoying your single status.
Anything like “I’m just focusing on my career right now!” will also work. This allows you to steer the conversation away from your personal life without being confrontational.
If all else fails, you can always say, “I’d love to explain, but I have to go check on the turkey. It’s a very demanding job!” This gives you a graceful exit from the conversation.
Using humor can help defuse tension and keep the atmosphere light during family gatherings. Remember, it’s all in good fun, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation about your career choices!
- It’s ok to Set Boundaries
It’s perfectly okay to set boundaries about what you’re comfortable discussing. If a relative brings up a topic you’d rather avoid, politely say something like, “I’d prefer not to discuss that right now.” This helps establish your limits while maintaining a respectful tone.
- Change the Subject
Have a few go-to topics in mind that you can pivot to when conversations get too personal. Ask about their recent travels, hobbies, or family updates. This not only diverts attention from you but also keeps the conversation flowing in a more comfortable direction.
- Engage in Group Activities
Participate in group activities or games during the gathering. This can help shift the focus away from personal questions and create a more relaxed atmosphere. Whether it’s playing board games or helping in the kitchen, staying busy can keep nosy relatives at bay.
- Practice Active Listening (😊 aka throwing the ball back to their court)
If a relative starts to share their own stories or opinions, engage with them by asking questions. This not only shows that you’re interested but also takes the spotlight off you. People often appreciate being heard, which can lead to more meaningful conversations.
- Have an Exit Strategy
If the conversation becomes too uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to excuse yourself. Whether it’s stepping outside for fresh air or helping in the kitchen, having a plan to remove yourself from awkward situations can be a lifesaver.
By preparing in advance and using these strategies, you can navigate the holiday seasons, namely Thanksgiving and even Christmas with confidence and enjoy the time spent with family, even if they are a bit nosy. Think of it as a good EQ training seesh! Good luck and survive guys!
