How to Overcome Loneliness and Fear As A Female Entrepreneur or Solopreneur

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Starting a business alone?

Little bit about myself, I have started and exited creative marketing agency, and am currently running my second online platforml with a mission to empower people to pursue their dreams minus the burnout. 

Before gettingt into today’s topic, I want to say I’m almost overqualified to talk about the fear and loneliness that comes with starting your own business as I just moved out alone, work from home ALONE, my new team is me, myself and I, and am also single (the overwhelming “alone-ness” here haha). I also gave up my income to make the time and space to start this new business, bootstrap style, while being an overthinker and planner.

First, let’s understanding why is it so lonely and scary to run a business on your own:

1. There is no one to report to, there is no one to give you guidance or push you to deliver a result. Meaning if you are not self-disciplined and self-initiated enough, you will make no money.
2. You make all the decisions by yourself and are responsible for them

Depending on your business nature, a lot times you also don’t see an immediate result. So it’s hard to judge right away if it’s a right or wrong decision, and you need to have the faith to push through

3. You feel isolated & disconnected

If you are doing this alone, your friends who are not entrepreneurs are highly unlikely to understand your stress. Even if you have team, there is a boundary between the boss and teammate, so unless you have a business partner, it’s hard to find someone to share your woes or stress like the way you can to your peers. 

4. Entrepreneurship is totally different from working, there are so much more you need to know including account and finance, operations and systems, funding, people management and marketing..to name a few. 

Scared of starting a business?

The best solution is the be as prepared as possible. Not just in business, but also your mindset and lifestyle. Things will still be scary down the road, but knowing that there’s a solution for every problem out there can save you!

Before you start a business, here are some tips and mindset preparations that I find the most useful

To start your own business, you must have:

1. Mindset Preparation
2. Comfort zone is not a thing
3. Learn to combat your Imposter Syndrome
4. Resilient, Resourceful, Solutions-oriented with a positive mindset is a must
5. When you feel like giving up, remind yourself that are creating the life you want
6. Have a plan for money
7. Committment
8. Decide on the lifestyle you want

1. Mindset shift

I like what online entrepreneur Carrie Green, the founder of Female Entrepreneur Association, said, instead of thinking “what if I fail”, think “what if it works?”

Need an extra boost of confidence? Try saying these self-worth affirmations for 2 weeks, they helped alleviate my self-doubt and anxiety in only 2 weeks!

2. Are you ready to be constantly outside of your comfort zone?

Be ready to make friends with the discomfort. It’s easier said that done, but embrace the uncertainty (as there’s practically none). This is going to be your lifestyle, for the next two years to come. 

3. Learn to combat your Imposter Syndrome

Research has shown that women are prone to have a lower self-worth given the society’s focus on our appearance and family roles. Hence that explains why Imposter syndrome is commonplace for us. 

I always felt like others know a lot more than I do especially in a room full of top-notched entrepreneurs. This belief can make it harder for me to believe how big my business can grow. 

4. Resilient, Resourceful, Solutions-oriented with a positive mindset is a must

5. When you feel like giving up, remind yourself that are creating the life you want. 

6. Calculate your money carefully: how long does it take for your business to generate revenue? If it is going to take over half a year, have at least 1- 2 years of savings. It’s also very common for people to start with a part-time or full-time job and start your business as a side-hustle first.

7. Commitment 

How much are you willing to commit to it? If that means you have to shop less, eat out less, temporarily move back with your parents. That’s OK. 

8. What kind of lifestyle are you looking for in the long run.

This will affect how you operate and that nature your business. When we think about “financial freedom”, a lot of people tend to think about only the money part but not a lifestyle that gives us freedom. If we use our time and hours to make more money, how is different from working for someone?

While it’s ok to work long hours the first few years when you first start a business, I don’t think it’s sustainable to work 20 hours a day in the long run. Read more on why overworking will eventually lead to a burnout.

How to deal with loneliness as an entrepreneur? 

Here are some great solution, especially if you are bootstrapping or a solopreneur:

1. Find a business mentor
2. Go into a co-working space
3. Research for the right help
4. Know that it’s impossible to be motivated all the time but stay consistent
5. Structure and plan your weeks and day
6. Schedule lunch with friends or business partners
7. Connect with liked-minded people
8. Attend group activities after work hours

1. Find and talk to a business mentor. I find that a gamechanger. 

I didn’t know about this during my first business, if not I would have find one earlier. 

I recommend a mentor especially if you breaking into a new industry. There are many good ones online, look at their skills and credentials. Some mentors can only give you a framework to follow while some have ACTUAL business success experience.

Also, personality compatibility is key for you to work comfortably too. 

2. Research for the right help.

Studies have shown that even if they are not on your same team, being around people (especially those who are also hustling along side with you) is good for your mental health!

Also understand that not everyone understands what you are facing, especially if they are not business owners. Don’t be affected by everyone’s comment, only listen to relevant advice (the best idea is to find someone with similar experience that is more mature than you). Here are some articles to help you if:

• Struggling with income stress as a new business owner
• Struggling with “entrepreneur overwhelm” i.e. biting more than you can chew, feeling overly-challenged with items you are not familiar with
• Struggling with emotional breakdown
• Struggling with long-hours and lack of work-life balance
• Feeling drained and struggling with burnout
• Looking for friends, community and support in business with similar experience

3. Have plan and strategy. As a CEO, one of your most important job aside seeking profit is the ability to RESEARCH and know where to seek help. Develop your own system of researching. With help and knowledge, be it free interns or vendors, you will definitely feel less lonely and helpless. 

Gather as much information as possible. I learnt this the hard way in my first business.

4. Know that it’s impossible to be motivated all the time. Find ways to make yourself consistent.

Hate to break it to you, the level of enthusiasm and motivation dropped as time goes by. 

If you are one of those highly self-disciplined person (even when you are alone), find ways to make yourself stay consistent. There are so many days I just want to stay in bed and NOT WORK, especially after the first 3 months. 

I find it particularly hard to get to work if I have a huge and new task that day.

5. Structure and plan your weeks and day.

This actually helped with loneliness. With a clear goal, it’s easier to get into get into “work mood” and less idle time thinking “how hard your day is going to be”

I keep a day a week as my strategy day, to plan out my weekly target actions also to revisit because life happens and things get in the way. Focus on the next step. One step at a time. 

6. Schedule lunch with friends or business partners

There’s nothing like real face to face hangout as a cure for loneliness!

7. Connect with liked-minded people. Don’t listen to what everyone has to say. Not everyone has an entrepreneur spirit, even if they do, their case can be different from yours. You can connect by joining events, online and offline business courses or even just a Facebook groups. 

You will be surprised how a good network of like-minded people even not in your niche can come as great help!

8. Attend fun group activities after work hours

Be it a group workout or other classes for your hobbies, don’t stay alone after work!

Conclusion

We are here for you if you feel lonely!

This is exactly why The Sunny Club is formed! I remember constantly looking for someone to answer the million business questions I had. It took me over two years of search before finding great online courses and mentors, so I’m here to share with you what I know. So feel free to write to me if you have questions and sign up for our community!

You are not alone, recharge with us and take on the world, fellow girl bosses!